Ready-To-Use Mentoring: The relationships matrix

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The main priority for your young people at your youth provision will probably be the friendships and social interaction. It’s how young people learn and test out independence and identity and is a massive part of adolescence. Use the concentric circles diagram to make notes during your discussion. This could make the basis of an on-going working document. Ask:

• What are the different social groups that make up your life?
• Is family actually the closest, most important relationship?
• Does it need subdividing further?
• Should there be a circle for a girlfriend / boyfriend?
• Where does church fit in?
• Do some relationships cut across several groups?

Ask your mentee if there are any changes they’d like to make to the labels on the target:

• Do they want to change the way people view them?
• What requirements do various groups place on you – positive and negative?
• How much information do you give out about yourself to each group? Is that the right amount? Is it different online and offline?

Ask your mentee:

• Who is your neighbour?
• To what extent do you love the people in each group – especially the ones you don’t get on with?
• How do you show this love?
• How generous are you towards their needs?
• How could you improve this?

 Joel Toombs has an MA in Christian mentoring and wrote the Grove booklet Mentoring and young people. He is a mentor in the music industry and a youth worker.