Christian devotions at home for children with additional needs are hard but worth working at

Hands up if you feel pressured by your church to do family devotions every morning. In some areas of our wonderful church, we can be left feeling that having daily family devotions is compulsory and doing it in the morning brings extra holiness points.  

But if you have children with additional needs there are morning stress points. Adding morning devotions to this mix can create negative emotions around devotions full stop. For some of our children, the issues can be about anxiety and fear, for some it’s the rigid thought process of “God stuff is done in church” so doing it at home feels wrong. There are so many reasons that praying or reading the Bible at home is just beyond reach - morning or evening. 

So, I’m here to say: “God understands.” 

Yes, it is good to turn our thoughts to God daily, but have we created rules that aren’t biblical, are difficult to fulfil and end up making people feel unnecessarily guilty? Children with additional needs need something different from the so called ‘norm’ and so do many adults. 

Deuteronomy 6:7 says “Make sure your children learn them [the commandments]. Talk about them when you are at home. Talk about them when you walk along the road. Speak about them when you go to bed. And speak about them when you get up.” (NIRV) But if you have children with additional needs how can you do this so that it works for you and yours? 

How might it work if you have children with additional needs? 

Think about someone with stomach problems. They might have to eat little and often - not a large meal, three times a day. Sometimes they may have to have nutritionally designed liquid food straight into their digestive system. In other words, nutrition is adapted to their needs. It’s the same for children with additional needs. We still give them good spiritual nutrition, but we recognise the need to adapt how it is accessed.

don’t turn this into a battleground. Instead, just set a simple example of what devotions can look like

We can’t turn time with God into a battle ground with a stressed child, or else that child will see God as a demanding God who doesn’t understand them - or their brains. There are better ways to think about God. To introduce Him as a God who understands. If you have a child who refuses to do devotions, don’t worry. 

Try being creative 

Find short creative prayer activities to do yourself. Don’t hide yourself away. Maybe use a fiddle toy as you pray for a few moments and comment to your child on that. Do the same one for a few days where your child can see. Slowly invite them to join you and watch. Allow them to set the time when they want to do that prayer for themselves. If you want to do a different one, get them to choose one out of two simply explained ones. They may distance themselves for a couple of days until they have seen you enjoy it. 

If they start to play with the toy in a way that isn’t part of the prayer, let them. As they play just simply say what you prayed about or what it reminds you of about God. The message will be associated with that toy when they pick it up again and they will have had fun learning that message. 

For some children who love science, creation, space and the wonderful facts in all those things, then you might consider ‘Indescribable. 100 devotions about God and science’ by Louie Giglio. There are other books in the series too. 

As we know - the Holy Spirit is just as powerful in our children as he is in us, and even in watching you pray he will still be speaking to them. As patterns are set, that time could become a couple of minutes of connection with God that sparks their own internal conversation with God that we may never see. 

Try including movement 

If you have a very active child, think movement. For example, if you’re considering the idea of walking with Jesus, create a newspaper labyrinth. Walk it, jump around it - hop, skip or crawl around it. Help them to see that we don’t have to just walk with Jesus, we can hop, skip and jump with Jesus too. The lesson is about moving forward with Him - not how we do it. If your child gets distracted by the activity, allow it. If they have managed to pray for just one thing - they have talked to God, he has listened and loved it. 

Keep an eye on their demeanour 

If you notice something amazing, turn it into a ‘wow’ moment with your child - ask them what makes them say ‘wow’ but allow plenty of pondering time to find the answer. It may be when you point out another ‘wow’ a few days later, or even a couple of months later, they will offer their own. That processing time is important. 

After moments of deep distress, gently refer to God sitting with them in that distress. All this shows a God who cares deeply and understands when your child is just too overwhelmed. Together with everything else, it brings together a bigger picture of a God who is ultimately good. 

What about Bibles? 

My husband once heard someone say; “I’d rather my child had no Bible than any version other than the King James version.” What makes children and young people with additional needs struggle with a standard Bible? King James or any other version? 

Small text in a serif font is one issue. Thankfully many children’s Bibles will have a more friendly style of font, but it’s still small. Then we have the two columns problem that’s not very friendly for many additional needs including dyslexia. Again, some children’s Bibles don’t have these, but as soon as they are given as so called ‘proper bible’, there are the two columns again! Long sentences can also be a problem, which is why I often recommend the NIRV Bible. The sentences are shorter and easier to comprehend. 

Sometimes, there is no issue with being able to read, but just reading a whole bunch of text is still hard and makes some children really anxious. In these circumstances, working with things a child is passionate about could be helpful. The Lego Bible and the Mine Craft Bible are great, as is the Action Bible which uses a comic strip style.  These might not have chapter and verse, but they can still inspire, God can still speak through them, and they have a place and a purpose in the lives of our children. 

Keep going 

As I’ve already said, don’t turn this into a battleground. Instead, just set a simple example of what devotions can look like. 

If your child has not managed to sit down, read the Bible or pray for a while - don’t feel guilty. 

If you’ve been a safe space for them - they see a safe God. 

If you’ve held them – they see a God who holds them. 

If you’ve allowed distractions when praying or reading - you’ve shown a God who understands their brain. 

If you’ve said, “It’s Ok, I can see you’re too anxious to pray”, you haven’t failed. You’ve shown a God who knows every anxious thought and takes them seriously. 

You’re doing a great job.