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CELEB-ABET
An unbelievably ‘clever’ combination of celebrity and alphabet – and that’s just the title!
10 mins
This game is shamelessly ‘borrowed’ from Britain’s favourite talent show’s favourite ITV2 spin-off Britain’s Got More Talent (yes, my wife and I are the two people who watch it, and love it). Celeb-abet pits two opponents against each other in a bid to find out who can name the most celebrities. As I said, these games are stunningly pointless.
Starting with player one, and taking alternating turns, they each have to name a celebrity who’s name begins with successive letters of the alphabet. So player one has to name one beginning with an ‘A’, player two has to name one beginning with a ‘B’, back to player one with a celeb beginning with a ‘C’,l and so on. Give each player no more than five seconds to come up with one or they lose. If they manage to get all the way to ‘Z’ then simply restart at letter ‘A’ again, allowing no repeated celebrities.
To play this as a team game, get all the players lined up in two teams, behind players one and two. Once either player loses a life they step aside and the person behind them steps up to carry on the game. Keep going until all the players from one team are eliminated.
Pointlessness level: chocolate teapot.
BEETLE DRIVE
A game that, disappointingly, involves no beetles or driving.
10 mins
Get your group into pairs seated opposite each other in a circle of tables around the room. Give each player a pencil and piece of paper, and each pair a dice. Explain that the point of the game is to be the first person to complete drawing a beetle.
Taking it in turns, the players roll the dice, and depending on what number lands face-up the player can then draw the corresponding piece of the beetle. However they can only draw bits of the beetle onto bits that already exist, so they have to draw a body before they can draw anything else, and they have to draw a head before they can add eyes or antenna.
A completed beetle must have a body (which you get by rolling a six), a head (five), two wings (four), six legs (three), two antennae (two), and two eyes (one). If a player rolls a body part that is already completed then the game just continues to the opponents turn. Once a player has completed a beetle, by rolling and drawing all the appropriate body parts, they shout out ‘Beetle’ - at which point all the pairs stop rolling and drawing, and add up the number of body parts they have each completed. Once they have done so the winners (the highest score in each pair) move one table clockwise, while the losers move one table anti-clockwise. Repeat until you all hate the Coleoptera order of insects (beetles), or until one player hits a previously agreed total of beetles drawn. It may be helpful to print out a copy of the list of numbers and corresponding body parts to give to each player.
Pointlessness level: 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.
COVER THEM WITH POST-ITS
A proper ‘Ronseal’ game – how much explanation do you need with that title?
5 mins
I guess we ought to do some kind of explanation for this game. Divide your players into teams of about four or five and before you do anything else get them to agree upon a team name. Once they have each done so, and you have recorded it, give each team a couple of pads of post-it notes and some pens. Explain that the aim of the game is to get as many post-it notes as possible stuck to one of their team members within a minute. Get them to pick their team member (remembering to highlight issues of appropriateness as to where they can and can’t stick their post-its) and explain that to prevent them from cheating, only post-its with their team name written on them will count. Give them a second to let this sink in, and then begin the minute. At the end of the minute gently remove the stuck post-its from the team’s nominated model, and count the number of legitimately written on post-its, to find your winning team.
Pointlessness level: The actual level of irony contained within that ‘Ironic’ song by Alanis Morrisette.
SLEEPING LIONS
The most important game in the history of youth ministry.
15 mins
Explain to your group that they are all to play the part of sleeping lions (whether they’re on the Serengeti, or in King Darius’ den doesn’t matter - you can choose depending on the biblical literacy of your group). Their task is to stay as motionless as possible, just like actual sleeping lions. Give them five seconds to make themselves comfortable, and then begin, keeping an eagle eye out for any movement. Anyone caught moving is eliminated from the game. Keep going until you have just one sleeping lion left - the winner. Don’t forget the clever trick of failing to notice any movement for the first few minutes to allow a bit of peace.
Pointlessness level: Pointless? Really? Getting a room full of teenagers to be quiet and still for a few minutes - you think this game is pointless?
