Grooming - What parents need to know

If you’ve been following the news lately, you’ve probably heard about “grooming gangs.”

The term “grooming gangs” refers to cases where groups (‘gangs’) of individuals have been convicted of exploiting young people, often vulnerable teenagers. Sadly, these cases have involved sexual abuse, trafficking (the movement of people for exploitation, often for money) or selling drugs. Victims are manipulated and coerced by predators, sometimes over a long time.

Grooming gangs go against everything Christianity stands for—justice, compassion, and protecting the undefended. Grooming gangs harm vulnerable people and damage communities. The Bible teaches that every person has dignity and is made in God’s image, so exploiting and hurting others is deeply wrong. Christians are called to love their neighbours, stand up for what’s right, and care for those in need.

It’s an uncomfortable topic, but it’s important to talk about it—especially as a parent of a child or young person. As parents, we should know what grooming is, why it’s becoming a bigger issue, and, most importantly, how we protect our kids from becoming victims.

Why are grooming gangs in the news in the UK?

The reason grooming gangs are in the news is that these incidents are being uncovered with increasing frequency. High-profile cases, such as those in Rotherham, Rochdale, and Oxford, have shown how these gangs specifically targeted young people and used psychological manipulation to control them.

Although media coverage has recently focused on specific ethnic groups, grooming can involve individuals from all backgrounds, and it is crucial to avoid stereotyping. Data quality is poor, but it is widely published that the majority of perpetrators are white. Victims can be from any ethnicity, gender, or social class.

These reports have raised public awareness about the issue, and parents are understandably concerned about how these events are able to take place in our communities.

What is grooming?

Before we look at ways to prevent grooming, let’s first define it. Grooming is a form of manipulation where an individual (or group) builds a relationship with a young person to exploit them, often for sexual or financial gain. Grooming isn’t always gang-related and doesn’t necessarily involve physical contact at first. It usually starts with emotional manipulation and can happen both online and in person.

In the UK, there is no single legal definition of grooming. While there are specific criminal offences related to sexual exploitation, trafficking, and abuse, grooming itself isn’t explicitly defined as a standalone crime. Thirtyone:eight are campaigning for a legal definition of grooming to change the law so that grooming can be prosecuted earlier and before significant harm is done to children.

The grooming process can happen slowly and subtly. Initially, the person doing the grooming may make the young person feel special, offering them attention, gifts, and affection. Over time, this escalates into the young person being isolated from their family and friends, and, eventually, being coerced or manipulated into more serious exploitation.

What can parents do to prevent their child from being groomed?

When it comes to preventing grooming, knowledge and vigilance are your best tools. Here are some practical steps that you can take to help protect your child:

1. Start with Open Communication

One of the best ways to protect your child from grooming is to have a strong, open relationship. Young people can be very private, but if they feel that they can talk to you about anything—no matter how awkward or difficult—they’re more likely to ask for help if something doesn’t feel right.

• Have regular check-ins about their social life, both online and offline.
• Ask how they’re feeling about their friendships or relationships. Are they spending time with people who make them feel uncomfortable?
• Listen more than you talk. Create a safe space for them to voice their thoughts without fear of judgement or immediate consequences.

2. Educate About Online Safety

Today’s children are online more than ever before. While the internet can be an amazing tool for learning and connecting, it’s also where grooming can happen. Don’t leave teaching about online safety to school, talk to your children about it too. You don’t need to be an expert, start with the basics:

• Explain the dangers of talking to strangers online. Let them know that not everyone they meet online is who they say they are. It’s important to warn them about the risks of engaging with people who may act overly friendly or pushy.
• Set privacy settings on social media accounts. Platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok allow users to control who sees their content. Make sure your child’s profile is set to private and that they’re only accepting friend requests from people they know in real life.
• Use parental control apps to monitor their online activity. These apps allow you to keep track of the websites they visit, who they’re talking to, and how much time they’re spending on their devices. While trust is important, some level of supervision is essential to ensure their online safety.
• Encourage them to block or report suspicious behaviour. If someone online starts asking them for personal information, inappropriate photos, or tries to meet them in person, they should block that person and report them immediately.

3. Know the Signs

Grooming can be very subtle, but there are a few things to look out for:

• Sudden secrecy or isolation. If your teen starts becoming secretive about their social life, or if they’re spending a lot of time alone or with people you’ve never met, it might be time to ask some questions.
• Changes in behaviour. If your child starts acting withdrawn, depressed, anxious, or suddenly becomes very defensive about their relationships, it could be a sign that something’s wrong.
• New gifts or unexplained money. If your child starts receiving expensive gifts or money without being able to explain where it came from, this could be an issue. Groomers often lure victims with promises of material goods.
• Online relationships with adults. Teenagers might form friendships or relationships with adults online. Try to assess if these relationships feel disproportionate, such as an adult asking for private or explicit content.

4. Engage with Schools and Clubs

• Many grooming incidents happen through schools or clubs. Engage with your child’s school, youth group, or sports team to keep them safe. Read their safeguarding policies and ask what protections they are putting in place.
• Encourage your child to participate in safe extracurricular activities where they can meet new people and build positive relationships with trusted adults and peers.
• Work with other parents. Sharing experiences and keeping an eye out for potential grooming behaviour can help create a safer community for everyone.

5. Trust Your Instincts

As a parent, you know your child better than anyone else. If something feels off—whether it’s a new friend, a sudden change in their behaviour, or a situation that doesn’t sit right with you—it’s essential to trust your gut and investigate further.

 

If you’re concerned that your child might be at risk of grooming or exploitation, don’t hesitate to get help. You can call Thirtyone:eight on 0303 003 1111 for confidential support and advice.

Additionally, if you suspect that grooming is happening, report it to the police.