Working with Children of other faiths

While this raises some questions and issues for churches, it goes without saying that these people are first and foremost children. Sometimes, in the discussions about engaging with people of different faiths or understanding cultural or religious differences, the fact that they are children gets overlooked. We can forget that, like other children, they laugh at slapstick and silly jokes, some like being noisy and lively, others are quieter and want to create beautiful art and most are obsessed with ‘Minecraft’! It shouldn’t need saying, but it often does: don’t forget they are children and make that your starting point.

However, if they do come from a family that has a faith other than Christianity, there are questions to consider: how do you understand the ‘spiritual journey’ of someone who already has a faith? How do you manage concerns about evangelism when families may support the teaching and atmosphere of your clubs but be horrified at the thought of conversion? How do you speak and behave with integrity? What do you tell their parents about the aims of your club; is it the same as you tell everyone else or do you water it down to avoid causing offence. What cultural or religious practices do they have that you need to consider if they are to feel welcome and included in your activities?

Understanding their spiritual journey

A great deal has been written about Christian work among children and the need to welcome them, pass on our message to the next generation and to see children as a vital part of the Church today, rather than the Church of tomorrow. But much of the writing has presumed that the children we work with come from either a Christian or secular home. But what happens when the children we work with come from religious families where belief in God, prayer, worship and being committed to that faith are part of the life of the family? (Please note that not all families from different faith backgrounds are devout, there is nominalism and cultural baggage in all faiths.) What of those children who have a belief in a faith other than Christianity and who may be very positive about that faith? What do we expect for them and for God to do in their lives?

When I started out in this kind of ministry as a young(ish), evangelical schools worker, one thing that I had to grapple with was meeting Muslims, Sikhs and Hindus who loved their religion, had no desire whatsoever to convert, did not have a ‘Godshaped hole’ in their lives and even talked about finding spiritual fulfilment in that faith. That was a real challenge for me as I longed for them to find the joy, forgiveness and freedom that I found in following Christ, yet they were very happy following their faith. Now let me say that I believe that Jesus is the son of God who died so that we may receive God’s forgiveness and receive eternal life. I love reading God’s word (the Bible, as far as I’m concerned) and seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in my life. In other words, I’m a fairly evangelical Christian, so meeting people who sincerely found spiritual fulfilment in other faiths was a huge challenge. So what journey might I be praying for them? This is a conversation I’ve had with many people of different faiths since then and I tend to give basically the same answer: I think being a Christian is the best thing ever, and I’d love everyone to find the joy that I’ve found, so I’ll speak about it and be the best witness that I can, but ultimately people have to choose for themselves what they make of it all. I’ll never coerce anybody.

So when working with children, I want them to grow up understanding Christianity as it is actually lived and encountered, not as the media present it. I want encountering Christians to be a normal part of a child’s life, so that if and when they are questioning life, they have a framework for considering what Christ might be saying to them. My aim is to present the Christian faith positively, but in language that a young Muslim, Sikh or Hindu might understand. So with Muslims and Sikhs, I’d emphasise how we worship only one God, I might speak about prophecy or reinforce the importance of God’s word in my life. I rarely, if ever, mention other faiths as I don’t want to get it wrong (or be perceived to get it wrong) but will be very positive about the Christian message. In doing this, I want to explore some things we might have in common, for example prayer, but look at prayer in the name of Jesus. I don’t want to stop anyone praying, especially if they have a daily routine of prayer already in their lives.

Family concerns about evangelism

So, what about evangelism? Let me ask you a question, if you had a child that came home one day and said, ‘I’ve been hearing a lot about Islam and met some great Muslims so I have decided that I’m going to stop being a Christian and become a Muslim.’ How would you feel? What would you say to them or to the people who told them about Islam? Now imagine you are a Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or Sikh parent whose child has said they want to become a Christian; can you start to imagine how they would feel?

There are many parents of different faiths who think that Christianity is a good thing, they like being around God-fearing people. Many would rather their child was in a Christian environment than a secular one, as faith is taken seriously and there is a good moral code. This does not mean they want their child to convert. Sikhism and Hinduism have little, if any, notion of conversion so it’s unlikely to be something that parents are thinking we might want for them or their children. So, is conversion what we’re about? Again, let me say, I’d love everyone to be a follower of Jesus if they want to be, but it isn’t compulsory. Even Jesus let people, like the rich young ruler, walk away and reject him. He also taught the importance of honouring fathers and mothers and, of course, one of the ten commandments is that children should obey their parents: note both of these commands are unconditional, we don’t get to disobey if we think parents are being unreasonable (any chance someone could teach my teenage lads that?!). Personally, I think it would be biblically, ethically and morally incorrect to suggest that a child keeps a desire to convert secret from their parents - again, imagine if a Muslim said that to your child. I think, therefore, that our task is to welcome all children, to share with them the hope we have within us with gentleness and respect, and to learn to love them and their families as we love ourselves.

At one holiday Bible club led in a Muslim area of Birmingham, parents are invited to attend ‘show time’ on the last day. This year 61 children attended on the last morning, and around 50 parents came to show time; fewer than ten children went home without an adult who saw ‘show time’! The main reason the parents come seems to be as a way of showing appreciation for the week. It’s always a challenge for the leader to stand there and tell the parents what has been taught through the week. This year’s teaching was from Bible stories that showed Jesus’ counter-cultural approach to people who were pre-judged by many. The leader was able to speak to the parents of the dangers of prejudice and discrimination on the grounds of nationality, gender and status and the need to follow Jesus’ example. It gave an opportunity to say directly and specifically that the vast majority of people living in the UK today have no faith and seek to stifle faith. The leader was able to call for ‘people of faith’ to live God’s way in the face of rejection and opposition.

The children of this Muslim community then stood up and, from memory, recited the Bible verses they had learned (with parental permission) during the week: verses about loving foreigners, loving enemies and doing for others what you would have them do for you. It is hard to say which gives most pleasure to the leaders: the confidence of the children as they say the words or the obvious approval of their parents! It is our hope that, from experiencing such a club, the whole community will begin to realise that those who follow Jesus are different to the vast majority of indigenous Brits, that they will realise that the club’s leadership team is not simply a random groups of ‘nice’ people, but the true face of Christianity.

So what if a child expresses a greater interest in Jesus and talks of wanting to become a Christian? We need to balance the desire for people to come to faith in Jesus now, with a concern for their ongoing discipleship and others we might want to share the good news of Jesus with. If a child converts through our activities, there’s a strong chance that the family would remove them and then discourage others in their community from having anything to do with our church. A traditional call for children to ‘become friends with Jesus’ (or whatever words you use) might not always be appropriate, but this doesn’t mean we give up on evangelism. Instead, we see it in the context of their family and trust that God will do, and go on doing, a good work in their lives even if we don’t see any converts.

If a child does talk about wanting to be a Christian, it’s important to prayerfully discern why the child wants to ‘convert’. Is this a genuine moving of the Holy Spirit or the desire to please you or be accepted within the group? If we do sense a move of the Holy Spirit then we need to talk to the child about how we will discuss this with their parents and what being a follower of Jesus might mean for them. It might well mean learning to honour and obey their parents in a new and deeper way.

This is an extraordinarily controversial and complex area of ministry, which I have touched on only lightly. Each case will be different but as a general principle I would urge patience and caution. Remember God’s love and concern for them is greater than yours: their salvation is not dependant on you, so go on praying and loving them and their families whatever they decide.

Speaking and behaving with honesty and integrity

One of the most challenging things Jesus taught (and there’s quite a lot of competition in that category) was, ‘Do to others as you would have them do to you’ (Luke 6:31). What if we were to apply this to the way we work with children of other faiths? Do we do to them what we would want people of other faiths to do to our children, or do we have double standards? Do we want to tell them about our faith? Then we have to be prepared to let them tell our children about theirs. Do we want them to respect or be interested in our faith? Then we have to be willing to respect and even enquire about theirs. Do we want people from other faiths to be honest with us about what they believe or are doing? Then we need to be honest about what we are doing and why.

In my experience, most people of other faiths are not intimidated by Christianity or offended by Christians celebrating Christmas or believing that Jesus is the son of God; what they are concerned about is people having a hidden agenda, such as saying a club is just for fun when really it is about conversion. So we need to be able to articulate clearly to everyone the same message about what we’re up to. As I said earlier, I talk about wanting everyone to find the good things that I’ve found within my relationship with Jesus, but that it’s an offer that people are free to take or leave as they want.

Including different cultures and practices

We have to think carefully about how we make children and families from different faiths feel welcome. This does not mean watering down what we believe or being reluctant to talk about Jesus, but thinking about how what we say and do will be received. Often the differences or challenges are as much about the practice of faith or culture as what we believe in. There are as many differences in practice and culture as there are people, so the best thing is to ask and keep asking. This way you’ll get to know the family much better, understand their culture and faith and be able to be more welcoming to them. Some common issues would be having vegetarian (egg-free for some Hindus and Sikhs) or halal food available and making it clear which food is which. Having single-sex activities or games that don’t involve physical contact between boys and girls can be helpful and this is especially relevant after puberty. Inviting families to an event might mean a larger number of people than you’re used to coming along. Be aware of when other festivals are taking place, especially Ramadan for Muslims as families, and possibly children, will fast from sunrise to sunset every day. Festival dates change every year but are easily available online.

One of the favourite parts of our holiday club programme is small group time. Small group time is 15 minutes of sharing refreshments (Halal of course) and chatting. Conversations range from small talk to the topics being covered in story time. Inevitably, once the children feel comfortable with their leaders, questions about Christianity are asked.

This year, as always, every group appeared to have had a conversation of some significance. Several leaders were asked about assurance and were able to testify of Christian confidence in forgiveness through Christ. The children were openly envious that Christians don’t have to earn salvation with good deeds and can be certain of God’s forgiveness, rather than rely on a capricious god. They all spoke of trying to do enough good deeds to outweigh any bad deeds they do, without any guarantee that they will be forgiven. One group raised the question of the Trinity, which was handled really well. They also got into a discussion about the languages of the Bible. Apparently they all thought the Bible was written in English.

Small group discussion time is an opportunity for breaking down false assumptions. The assumption that Christianity is a religion for white Westerners is prevalent among the children. That’s why one of the main messages in our 2016 holiday club programme is that Jesus is for everyone who trusts and believes in him, regardless of race, nationality, gender, status or condition. There was a young man of African descent (born in Zimbabwe) on the team, and several children asked whether he too is a Christian. You could almost see them having a rethink as they processed the answer!

Working with children and families of different faiths can be hugely enriching and rewarding, as they bring different perspectives and ideas to the group, but it also raises some new questions and challenges. Many of the issues discussed here also apply to children of no faith which takes us back to where we started: we must remember that they are all children loved by God and trusted into our care.

Andrew Smith is director of interfaith relations for the Bishop of Birmingham