Got a question on children’s or families ministry to put to our panel of experts?
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Question #1 We have spent a lot of money on some resources but don’t like them! What should we do?
A. No matter what you use, it’s never quite going to work perfectly for you and the children in your group. This is essentially because (and I’ve written resources) they are written for the author to use in their children’s group, not yours! So if you’re fed up with them you have three choices: try something else, write your own resources or try and tweak the ones you use now to make them work better for you.
Before going with either of the first two options I would suggest you give option three a go. Trying a new resource could well leave you with the same problems you have now, and writing your own is incredibly labour intensive. Therefore we need to think about how you can make these resources work better for you. Here are some ideas…
1 Remember these resources are a guide, not a script. You have permission to tweak, change, throw out the rubbish bits and replace them with other stuff. In fact, resources are written on the assumption that you will.
2 Always review your sessions. When things work and are good write that down somewhere and use that as a source of good ideas for when you don’t like what’s in the resource.
3 Plan as a team. Rather than a Saturday night panic planning session, plan in advance as a team so that you can imagine the session working and develop new ideas together.
4 Don’t dismiss anything you haven’t tried. Your resource is written by an expert. They may not have ever met your group but they will have a lot of experience. If you see new ideas in the curriculum and you’re not sure they’ll work with your group give them a chance.
5 Develop a regular structure that works for your sessions and then just use the resource to ‘populate’ your plan. That way you can take the good ideas as you need them rather than try and follow it too closely.
Sam Donoghue is the head of children’s and youth ministry support for the Diocese of London, and co-editor of Premier Childrenswork
Question #2 How do you care for children in your group with additional needs?
A. There is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ when it comes to caring for children who have additional needs. There are so many variations to consider. But here are a few basics tips that may help:
Vision: grow a vision and passion for working with children who have additional needs – write it down and pass it on.
Don’t see the problems, the symptoms or the health and safety risks first, see the child and what they can achieve. We do need to be mindful of what the needs are, as this is the only way to find a way to help, but it shouldn’t be the first and only thing we see.
Communication: talk to parents / guardians to find familiar strategies and keep them informed of how their child is settling in. Get to know the child in the context of their family and school. Encourage participation and praise achievements, no matter how small. Give instructions clearly and one at a time, and check for understanding. If correction is needed use their name and say what the problem is (looking in their general direction and saying ‘don’t do that’ doesn’t work!). Don’t use a question to give the instruction.
Make sure teaching is literal and free of allegory – or where allegory is needed, clearly explained. Teaching doesn’t need to be ‘dumbed down’.
Positive differences: no two young people will be the same, even if they have the same condition. Also remember that just because a child approaches something differently, it’s not necessarily wrong. The approach they chose may be how they cope with changing circumstances or because the task in front of them is too daunting.
Don’t be too concerned when you feel a child doesn’t appear to be ‘listening’. Many children with additional needs ‘listen’ in different ways.
Spiritual response: responses to God will happen, but some may challenge our views of what a valid response should be. Sometimes you will see big strides in faith - great! Sometimes you won’t see any response, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
Long term view: catering for young people with additional needs is a long term commitment - be prepared. Have a plan for transition between each age group, all the way through to adulthood.
Kay Morgan-Gurr is general director of the Children Worldwide network
Question #3 Our policy says we should contact the police or children’s services if a child is ‘at immediate risk’, but what does this actually mean?
A. Children have a right to be protected from all forms of harm, and every organisation – including churches working with children and young people – must have a safeguarding policy that clearly states this. Children can be harmed through physical, sexual or emotional abuse, or neglect.
In every case where sexual or physical abuse is suspected or disclosed the statutory agencies – police or children’s services – should be contacted immediately. If the church suspects any other form of abuse it may be appropriate to speak to the parents first.
With the former, this means alerting the police child protection team or children’s services where the child lives. Most safeguarding policies include the name of the person responsible for safeguarding in the church, who may be called the safeguarding officer, children’s advocate or similar. Anyone with a concern should get in touch with this designated person, who will then contact the statutory agencies. Obviously in the absence of the designated person or their deputy anyone with a concern should report the matter themselves.
The police or children’s services will want to know all the key details about the child, and what the concern is.
CCPAS is often asked why parents are not informed by the church when sexual abuse is suspected. This is because the church’s prime responsibility is to ensure the child is protected from further harm and requires contact with the police, as a crime may have been committed. It is for the police or children’s services to speak to the parents as they conduct their investigation. If the church does inform the parents, for example by confronting the alleged abuser, it may well compromise the investigation and prevent a conviction. This is why it is so essential that every church has a clear safeguarding policy – and that all its workers and members understand it and follow it.
The clearest advice is: if in doubt, report. But if you are not sure or if you need any further support, contact CCPAS’s 24 hour helpline on 0845 120 4550, and we will advise you what to do.
Simon Bass is the CEO of CCPAS (Churches’ Child Protection Advisory Service). For more information about CCPAS and how it works to protect children, see ccpas.co.uk
