There is very little in the way of statistical evidence for the impact of the changing face of British young people’s mental health upon youth workers, largely because the total number of youth workers is quite small. However, it would not be surprising if the statistics were similar to the USA where 33 per cent of urban youth workers experience post-traumatic stress, 40 per cent would currently describe themselves as burnt-out and the average tenure for a job is just 18 months. Among church leaders like myself there has been an acceleration of interest in training you to deal with mental health issues, something that my organisation Premier Mind and Soul seeks to do. However, training cannot mitigate the real crisis facing youth workers today: a crisis in care.
What Are you Facing?
I asked for anecdotal stories from a group of youth workers I was training recently about the sort of dysfunction that they had to address. The stories which came back were no less disturbing or terrifying than the ones I had listened to in many similar gatherings over the last year: addictions, violence, abuse, gangs, bereavement, truancy, self-harm, complex mental health issues and gross family dysfunction. You are engaging with some of the most desperate, tragic and apparently hopeless situations in society today. Experienced girls worker Katie (not her real name) said: ‘I remember the first time a young person told me that her stepfather had been abusing her since early childhood and how he still was. On the outside I stayed sat down, was calm and attentive. On the inside my head was spinning and I wanted to run to the toilet and be sick.’
Youth work has changed dramatically over the past 20 years, from being a ‘nice to have’ for churched young people, to the front line of community engagement. Sadly this transition has not necessarily been matched by a gear change in the support, care and resources available to all of you. The result being that mental health issues, emotional breakdowns, faith crisis and moral bail-out are all becoming commonplace. There are some great examples of support for youth leaders, as Lawrence Basham from All Saints Ilkley says, ‘My minister does understand what I do, he always makes time to be available for catch-ups and is really committed and interested in the work of the ministry.’ This sort of collaboration is, unfortunately, not universal.
Rebecca Hamer, HTB girls youth worker says: ‘Youth workers are on the front line of the battle with this generations’ emotional, mental and spiritual pain. We are often the first to hear of and engage with issues that are in the remit of social workers and mental health professionals, but without the resources, supervision and structures to support this.’
Dealing with Guilt
One of the unspoken consequences of pastoral ministry is a dislocated sense of guilt that it provokes. One senior youth ministry leader told me, ‘It is guilt and fear that’s breaking our youth leaders.’ Many of you feel that you have no right to feel distressed by what you hear; unaware of the reality of what the psychological community calls ‘transference’. This is the unconscious displacement of feelings from one person to another; something that all of those with experience in counselling trauma spend a lot of time processing. Being unaware of transference is like walking through a radioactive bunker in your t-shirt and shorts: you can’t see that anything is wrong, it is only later that you begin to feel sick. Time pressures and a lack of space for reflection play a part in blocking your ability to remain emotionally healthy. Short but regular discussions can really help this process.
One of the huge challenges facing ministry leaders seems to be in providing both a productive leadership environment that is also a compassionate and caring place to talk. This is the best means of dealing with experiences of trauma, transference and hopelessness. Nearly every person we have connected with, who is struggling with the issues raised in this article, have been failed by the environment in which they are working, more than being undone by the youth work in which they are engaging. Sarah (not her real name), reflecting on her experiences of being unsupported in youth ministry, wrote to me saying: ‘I made the decision not to work for a church again as I couldn’t cope with being so badly treated and having my faith battered so much. By the time I left I was seriously considering giving up on Christianity.’
Efficiency Culture
In an increasingly therapised culture, staying emotionally well seems more complex and potentially expensive than ever. However, in reality most of us will do well if we can talk freely, be encouraged richly and expected of reasonably. Efficiency culture doesn’t necessarily share these values. James (not his real name) shared his story on youth ministry burnout. He was a classic victim of an ‘efficiency’ culture in which he was pressurised to achieve in youth work while also training at CYM and self-funding through a full-time job. He said of when he began showing signs of serious stress, ‘I started getting mentored by a church leader who had his own ideas about what was wrong with me, but no one really clocked that I had anxiety issues or knew much about what to advise.’ Those youth workers who do better in this area typically have a broader base of supports; something you might consider developing in response to this article. Lawrence Basham says, ‘I have a history of relationships in the church who have supported me through ups and downs and I have a couple of men who I meet for prayer who give me personal prayer support in the role.’
There is no doubt that only looking to senior leadership for the support and encouragement you need can be problematic, as they have to embody both the management and pastoral roles simultaneously. Ali Campbell was recently made redundant from his position as diocesan youth adviser in Chichester. He said: ‘Emotionally, how do you handle being ‘called’, sensing that you are in the ‘right place’ in terms of ministry, but those who employ you are deciding that this is not even a question that needs to be thought about? Is my calling determined by my employer retaining me? Is it me? Have I given myself to this for nothing?’ Sarah’s story ran along similar lines. Put under huge pressure to fund-raise as well as to do ‘significant’front line youth work, she says of her experience: ‘I was given no support at this time and when I asked for help I was told by the vicar that I was making a fuss over nothing.’ Put in an untenable position and increasingly victimised by the leadership, she ended up finding an advocate in the diocesan youth advisor, and ultimately resigned from her position. She says, ‘The whole experience totally shattered my confidence and has definitely made me more wary of getting involved in church life.’
While you are called to a ‘generational ministry’ you are not called to be generationally segregated
Being secure in your role and understanding the terms of your contract can really help reduce this sort of stress. Liz Fisher says, ‘I feel very secure due to the management team and my minister fighting my corner during church council discussions about my performance.’ Ross Campbell, a youth worker in Dublin places a sense of security in knowing the permanency of his contract but also says: ‘The church and leadership seemed to trust me from the off (almost eight years ago). Trust in any relationship is key’.
Looking After Eachother
Rachel Welch, director of Selfharm.co.uk says, ‘If we don’t look after our staff, we’re not looking after our young people. What we are fundamentally failing to realise is that those in youth ministry carry a burden of guilt on their shoulders - guilt that they’re not doing enough fast enough, guilt that if they burn out others will suffer more, guilt that they’re having thoughts and feelings that aren’t in keeping with what people are expecting from them. We need to be lifting that guilt; acknowledging that youth work is hard, and making it acceptable to be ‘only’ human when we believe we need to be nothing less than superhuman.’
Being proactive in shaping the culture in which you work is really important, not just for you but for other members of staff. Most senior leaders will assume that an employee feels supported unless they say otherwise. Any ideas that you have which can create natural contact time and build relationships will typically be welcome. Our youth employment scheme intern recently challenged me to start ‘Together Coffee Tuesday’ between 9.30-10am. This has been a great success in getting the whole team to connect together and become more honest about the challenges they are facing.
Patrick Regan of XLP suggests that the majority of inner-city youth workers strop thriving in their work after around two years, because of the serious nature of the material they are encountering and the sense of isolation that goes with the work. Emotionally supportive cultures are hard to build because they ultimately depend upon a paradigm shift in the way we manage time and view efficiency. However you can play a part in forging these rather than lamenting their absence. Patrick says: ‘We have worked really hard to build a culture with a strong sense of community. No one stands alone. We are a culture based around being team. Ultimately at XLP people are more important than anything else.’ They key here is often to break away from a herd mentality and begin to build relationships across the different ages, genders and social boundaries of the church or team.
Mike Pilavachi, who has been in youth ministry for 30 years, has members of his team who are in their ninth or tenth year. Mike says, ‘You have to create a friendship base where people can be honest. I go to work every day with my best friends. Youth workers shouldn’t have to go to staff meetings to defend their jobs, but to come into a group of friends where they can share how they feel. They shouldn’t come in fearing judgement, but anticipating being loved.’ Anyone who has had the privilege of spending time with the Soul Survivor team knows this is true, and it is both deeply healthy and deeply attractive. After all, we are ultimately inviting young people into a loving relationship with Jesus, if our youth leaders are experiencing isolation and a lack of support how are they ever going to be effective, let alone healthy?
Perhaps the greatest gift you can give yourself as a youth worker is the understanding that while you are called to a ‘generational ministry’ you are not called to be generationally segregated. Emotionally supportive teams work against segregation and build inclusion and friendship across age and ministry boundaries. For lone youth workers in small teams there may be a lack of others doing the same role within the same age range but that doesn’t have to mean isolation. Stretch out relationally today in your context - you may be surprised at how welcome your attempt to build friendships is received. Ultimately friends are the greatest emotional support in a tough ministry - that is why Jesus had 12 of them!
TEN STEPS FOR PROTECTING YOURSELF
1. Learn to accept the magnitude of the issues that you are facing through the lives of the young people you are working with. Recognise that engaging with these issues is not free to you and that it will naturally cause you high levels of emotional distress at different times.
2. Practise talking about your feelings. You could do this with a friend or even alone facing a mirror or in prayer to God. Expand your emotional vocabulary beyond, ‘OK’, to really reflect what you are feeling inside. This should include a level of ‘anger’ (a very important healing emotion). Becoming reflective is a key pressure valve in pastoral ministry.
3. Create a reverse-timetable that accounts for all of the restorative activities and events that you are going to do. There should be at least four hours of restorative time booked in for every day of the week before 11pm.
4. Become an expert at sign-posting young people and working across organisations, including across the secular and Christian boundaries. Have the numbers and contact points for these on your phone. Know when to step out and let someone else step in. Accept that saying ‘no’ is as healing as saying ‘yes’.
5. Divide your time equally between front-line and behind-the-line. Your office or hot desk needs to be a place of sanctuary where you can both get the relevant administration done but where you can also find the spiritual and emotional energy to go back onto the front-line. Stay off Facebook or Twitter where you might find yourself back on the front-line during this sanctuary time.
6. Be honest about what you need from your leaders. Ensure that this includes a personal supervision with a genuine and confidential pastor at least twice per month and during work hours. Get your working agreement and the time-frame for your employment in writing. Whenever you have a work based appraisal, take your working agreement with you for reference.
7. Socialise with other youth leaders in settings where you have a chance to chat about your experiences. Most leaders feel isolated and like a fraud when you get to know them. There is great encouragement in being vulnerable and honest.
8. Write down what you think God expects of you and stick it on a Post-it on the top of your computer screen.
9. Learn as much as you can about mental health and emotional well-being. It is far better to be prepared than be caught out. Most burnout can be avoided if we take the right pre-emptive steps or change direction soon enough.
10. Send out an honest prayer request email to trusted friends every month.
