The Jobs o-meter
- How many Apple devices do you own?
One point per device - How many Apple USB cables do you own?
One point per cable - Do you own a picture of Steve Jobs?
Answers: No (0 points), Yes (5 points) - Do you own a black turtleneck?
(If you don’t know what this is, it is clear that you do not.) Answers: No (0 points), Yes (5 points) - Are you going to see the new Steve Jobs film at the cinema?
Answers: No (0 points), Yes (5 points), I’ve already been (10 points) - Are you evangelical about Apple devices, ie do you convert other people to the ways of Apple?
Answers: No (0 points), Sometimes (3 points), All the time (5 points) - How many broken Apple devices do you own?
One point per broken device - Can you quote something Steve Jobs said?
Answers: No (0 points), Yes (5 points), More than one thing (10 points) - Have you read Steve Jobs by Steve Jobs?
Answers: No (0 points), Yes (5 points) - Do you think Steve Jobs might be the most significant person to have lived since Jesus?
Answers: No (0 points), Yes (5 points)
0–10 points: Not-so-Steve
It’s very possible that you have entirely missed this earth-shaking revolution. Have you heard of Steve Jobs before now? Do you even know what Apple is? Time to get your HEAD OUT FROM UNDER THAT ROCK, grandma! This is the 21st Century, and it’s time to get Jobs-ified.
11–30: Sort-of-Steve
Congratulations. You have successfully managed to stay hip, hop and happening while retaining a semblance of normality and non-obsession with the man, the legend, the MARVEL… Woah, sorry. We got carried away there.
31–57: YOU-SO-STEVE!
You look like him, you sound like him and you basically own everything he has ever made. You are a fully fledged disciple of Jobs and are even evangelising others to the cause – congratulations! Oh wait. Hang on. Something has gone horribly wrong here. I think we might need help…