We may have come to expect apathy from young people. But what do we do when we see that same apathy in their parents? ...or, dare we say it, our church leaders? ... or... maybe even... ourselves?
‘They just don’t care’ - these aren’t the words of a troubled teen sharing their troubles with me. No, worryingly, this is the average response from the young people I work with when I challenge them about sharing their faith with their friends: they just don’t care.
It’s not that their friends are anti- Christianity. It’s not that the young people I work with are scared or hiding their faith. It’s just that there is no real concern for whether they should take an interest or not.
Apathy. It’s become my go-to phrase lately, an obsession you might say, and it seems I’m not alone. At the recent Youth Work Summit, Andre Root said this:
‘Young people don’t hate the church. They don’t care about it. It is hard to hate something you don’t care about.’
So, clearly, I’m not alone in thinking this. But I think it’s also important to admit that this apathy is affecting more than just young people. We need to challenge apathy among Christian teenagers, non- Christian young people, parents, our own congregation, and maybe even in ourselves..
I am aware that in writing this I may be guilty of making some generalisations. I know that all of what I write does not apply to everybody. I know that there are young people who are passionate about the gospel and changing lives. I know there are non-Christian young people who have well-thought-out and engaging arguments on their faith-based viewpoints. I know of parents who care deeply and engage with their children and their faith journey and equally I know of youth workers who are working all the hours they have to challenge a generation of young people to become Spirit-filled, God-focused and living for him in all that they do. But I have also seen and experienced the opposite side. So, enough dancing around the issue, let’s dive in…
US
I know I’m not the only one who occasionally doesn’t give 100 per cent in a session, and I’m sure all of us get to a point where we struggle to find fresh material to challenge often-repeated questions or issues our young people are facing. So what can we do? If we’re apathetic, it will catch. If we’re not being inspired or challenged by our faith then it will show and reflect in our work. Here are a few thoughts on how we can fight the apathy in ourselves:
Remind yourself why you do what you do
Youth work is an immersive job. It’s very easy to get stuck into the daily or weekly patterns and routines. Pretty soon diaries fill, priorities get set and it can be easy to get stuck in a groove. Sometimes what we need is to get together with like-minded people, share stories, share life and remind ourselves of what got us into youth work in the first place. Rediscover your first love, re-enthuse yourself and get back in the game!
Connect with God
This is an obvious one I know, but so important. Take time out, regular time out to spend time with God. I set aside every Tuesday morning just for God and me. In that time I might go for a walk and pray; I might spend some time worshipping or reading some devotional material. This time is crucial to my work. It’s amazing how easy it feels to squeeze it out, but equally amazing how much of a difference I notice when it doesn’t happen.
Sometimes in our job we can get caught in a trap where we find the only time we read the Bible is when planning a session. The only time we pray is when leading young people. The only time we hear a sermon is when we’re asked to preach one. This isn’t healthy or sustainable. Make it part of your regular working life to spend time with God, inviting the Holy Spirit to deepen and strengthen your faith. John Wesley sumsit up brilliantly, ‘Every morning I set myself on fire for Jesus, then I go out and people watch me burn.’
Reflect - is it time to move on?
This is a difficult one, but sometimes one that needs addressing. Have you run out of steam? Or maybe your time in that place is simply coming to an end. Evaluate your situation, and ask others to do the same with you. Be honest and open to the idea that you might be ready to move on.
The right group or format?
Finally, it’s always important we examine our work. It might just be that the current group or format has run its course and needs reinventing or stopping. Taking time out to use an evaluative tool - maybe a SWOT analysis, or one that I picked up from the Youthwork Conference that was helpful: ‘Start, stop, change, continue’. Look at your work and ask those questions: what needs to begin, end, be adjusted or just left alone to keep running?
CHRISTIAN YOUNG PEOPLE
These days, the most common response I get to a young person who has sat through a church service isn’t exactly overflowing with praise. I’m seeing biblical knowledge, and desire for biblical knowledge, dropping among young people, and most worryingly, a lack of desire to share their faith with others.
I remember growing up seeing No Fear t-shirts all over the place (now I sound old). Something that’s always stuck with me from those days is this: ‘If you’re not living life on the edge, you’re taking up too much space’. I think we need to take that statement and apply it to our youth work.
Let’s live on the edge. Let’s push our young people to the edge. This may mean working outside our natural comfort zones. This may mean awkward silences as you encourage your young people to wait on the Holy Spirit. This may mean weird looks as you send them off to ‘hear from God’. But let’s do this. We believe in the God of miracles. We believe in the God of resurrections, miraculous healings, prophetic words and spiritual gifts. So let’s keep using them.
I’m not saying we should go all experiential and drop the theory. Absolutely not: we need the Biblical backing and foundation to our faith. But maybe we could mix up our programmes, or split sessions in to some theory and then send them out to practice. Finish a small group by laying hands on people. Take some youth out on the streets to pray for individuals.
Push them to the edge and let them see what’s over the drop. Not a God who’ll let them fall, but one who will let them soar on wings like eagles. There will be risks. There may be slip-ups and mishaps but, I firmly believe, if we take that step then we will see our young people catch the spark from the Holy Spirit and then want to pass that spark on. When it comes to situations such as church services, instead of just cajoling them or trying to convince them that services are great and amazing, let’s find ways to help them engage. I’ve recently started supplying my young people with doodle sheets, with prompting questions to help them work out what God might be saying to them during the service. I’ve been chatting to them individually and finding out what would help them engage and connect with God more - whether that’s fiddle toys to keep them focused, or opening questions to get them in the right frame of mind at the start of the service.
PARENTS AND CONGREGATIONS
There have been plenty of articles written about parents, and the expectation that youth workers will be the magic Christian influence they’ve been looking for. But, here’s a different question: what if the parents just don’t care? What if the parents are just fairly confident their kid will turn out ok? What if the parents are constantly scheduling other activities above any form of church contact? Or from a congregational perspective: what if they think it’s all up to you? You are the youth worker after all - so get on and do youth work! We’re quite happy to sit back and watch. Ever feel like you’re in that place? I’d like to suggest two angles of attack that might help with this:
Get them involved
I’m not talking about putting them on rotas, or getting them running the events - that’s always tricky for parents and young people (though far from impossible). What I’m talking about here is enabling and encouraging and supporting parents of teenagers in helping their children with their faith. Churches are very quick to put on parenting courses for young parents - a noble and vital cause - but just as important is support for parents of teenagers. Young children are fairly pliable and will go where they are led. Young people need more persuading and can easily pull the duvet over their head and attempt to avoid any contact with daylight. We need to make sure the parents recognise their role and their level of importance in the spiritual development of their own children. After all, research still show that parents are the key influencer in a young person’s spiritual decisions.
Get them on-board
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Just keep telling parents what you are doing, why it matters and how young people can access what is going on. Make sure your door is open so they know they can talk to you. I put out a termly newsletter aimed at the parents to inform them of what we are teaching and exploring and any key events coming up. Starting in September I will also be running termly parent sessions where I present the vision and direction of the youth work, how that is shaping what is going on and try to hear their concerns and desires for the young people.
If the parents of our young people know how important their role is in raising a Christian young person, then hopefully the excitement and buy-in we get from them will increase. Similarly if we can make sure they are informed, aware and are sharing and helping to shape the vision of the youth work, then the level of commitment and interest from them should rise.
Similarly with the congregation: remind them how important a whole church approach is (see Krish Kandiah’s article ‘It takes a whole church to raise a child’ on the Premier Youthwork website). Take the opportunity to share vision, regularly. Communicate to the whole church, not just young people. Use coffee time not just to hang out with young people but to be available to the congregation. Show them how exciting and valuable youth work is. Share success stories, share failures, share stories that show how the church has loved, supported and developed young people and how they can all play a part in that - and accept help. Even from unlikely places. Get people praying for individual young people, get people offering lifts, homes for small groups and cakes for Sunday School. Use the whole church where possible and help them share in the joys and victories of the work we do.
I don’t have this all figured out yet. I am working through it at the moment and thinking: how do I apply this to what I do? What differences am I going to make to my work? I hope that you too are asking those questions. These can be scary questions, particularly if it means redefining and reshaping your youth work programmes. But I believe, firmly, that if we do not start working to challenge the apathy that can be found within ourselves and the apathy that we can see among the young people we come in contact with, then that apathy will grow, spread and become harder to defeat.
So let’s head to the edge, taking our young people, our parents and our churches with us, and take a leap of faith.
