Sometimes volunteers don’t like to set expectations because they want the children to see church activities as fun and worry that a set of rules will ruin the experience. In reality, the opposite is true, and it’s important that our volunteers know that.
Children like boundaries because they feel safe in the given environment
Children like boundaries (though they will push against them) because it helps them to feel safe in the given environment. Alternatively, volunteers might feel they don’t need to set group behavioural expectations because they think the children should already know how to behave. Maybe this was true 30 years ago, but not today. Children are now in many different environments, some of which set behavioural expectations and some of which don’t, and those environments which do set rules for behaviour often have different expectations from each other. Children can become confused as to what expectations go with which learning environment. Therefore, it is important that one of the first things a volunteer does with a new group of children is to set the behavioural expectations.
The next question is what those behavioural expectations should be. This can be left up to the preference of the volunteer, or the church might have overall behavioural expectations for the children in their groups. The rules should be short, simple, and easy to remember. I once did a teacher training session in a church with a six foot-long list of rules on the wall of the Sunday school room. Even with them written out, no child was going to remember all of those rules.
I have three rules that I use with all age groups. Firstly, when I’m talking or another adult is talking then the children are listening and not talking. Secondly, when one of their peers is talking then everyone is listening and not talking. For these two expectations I always explain that these rules are about being respectful of and courteous to others, and that people who follow Jesus are respectful and courteous to others. The third behavioural expectation is that what’s yours is yours. This rule covers things like keeping your hands and feet to yourself and not grabbing something that another child is playing with or working with. I introduce these rules when I first meet a group of children and am never afraid (if I feel things are getting out of hand) to stop what we are doing and remind children of my expectations. At random times I’ll go over the expectations with the children because sometimes they simply don’t remember what the rules are.
Sometimes even the best behaviour managers have a day or a group that can get the best of them – volunteers need to know that this happens. When faced with those kinds of situations I tell my volunteers, ‘Never let them see you sweat,’ meaning that even if they have lost control you must not ever lose control in front of the children. If a volunteer, even after setting and enforcing behavioural expectations, finds they have more difficult classroom management experiences than good ones, make sure they know it is ok to ask for reinforcements. Volunteers should know they have someone to talk with who is in their corner and who may know more about the situations of certain children than they do. Never let your volunteers loose in a group of children without loading up their behavioural management toolbox.
