We are delighted to welcome Ivy Beckwith as one of our columnists. She will take it in turns with Messy Church founder, Lucy Moore - who
will be back in the next issue
We’ve all met them. Those slightly crazy 8, 9 and 10 year-old boys who think that human flatulence is the funniest thing they have ever encountered – the stinkier the better.
They know about all the latest video games citing characters and joystick manoeuvres that we’ve never heard of and, really, never desired to hear about. They come rushing into your children’s ministry space, as mine did yesterday, tumbling over each other reeking of destruction and exuberance. They have trouble listening, preferring instead to talk at and over each other and you. They are quite frankly obnoxious at times, making their adult leaders and spiritual mentors glance frenetically at the clock praying for the swift passage of time, and watching the door for the welcome appearance of a beleaguered parent arriving for pick-up.
Saying all of this, the amazing thing I have discovered about these boys is that somehow, in the midst of the incessant movement, jabbering, and insistent refrain that all church activities are boring, some part of them is actually listening and processing it all. In a fleeting moment of serenity a question will be asked and a profound, spiritually astute answer will be given. Or a Bible story will be told and the fidgety boy who seemed not to be paying attention will ask an amazing question or come up with a profound theological insight. Or an art project will elicit an unexpectedly beautiful comment on a spiritual truth. A whirling dervish of an 8-year-old boy usually only interested in flying dragons and fanciful monsters sidled up to me in my pew one Sunday morning. His family had been absent from church for a few weeks so I was glad to see him and welcomed him warmly. He had a question for me. ‘What happened in the Bible while I was gone?’ he asked. I was immediately struck by the theological implications of that question. He didn’t ask me what Bible stories we had looked at in Sunday School but instead implied that he saw the Bible as a living breathing book where things were still happening.
His question reminded me that despite his numerous digressions in our Bible story discussions, he was interested in the Bible and the stories God gave us. His simple question was a powerful lesson for me.
In the midst of the incessant movement, jabbering, and complaints of boredom, some part of them is actually listening and processing it all
Sometimes these boys pose a dilemma for those of us who administrate church children’s programmes, for it does take a special volunteer to work with them. It takes a person who can deal with their noise, physicality and good humour, yet who can also challenge them into spiritual thinking and practice. I once worked with a large mixed-sex group of children this age and I took the oldest group of boys because I felt guilty saddling any unsuspecting volunteer with them. Sometimes we opt simply for games and noise in our activities because we think this is the only thing that will please them and keep them under control. Or we are intimidated by their seeming disinterest in what we are directing them to do or discuss. I once worked with a husband and wife volunteer team who taught a mixed-sex group of older children that was predominately male. I observed them proposing a class activity that involved rewriting the lyrics of familiar hymns to fit the theme of the day’s Bible lesson. I was surprised at this choice of activity because I was concerned they would have trouble engaging the group in the project. They calmly and quietly, ignoring the groans and looks of disinterest, explained the project as they set out the supplies. Much to my surprise, after that bit of initial resistance, the group took to the project and began generating good ideas. These teachers started with the assumption that the group could and would engage with the project and gave no hint that any other path would be tolerated.
I guess what I am saying is this: boys’ appearances can be deceiving. Let us never underestimate their interest in spiritual topics and their desire to know and become closer to God. As they tumble into our children’s ministry spaces let us ask God’s help in providing experiences that are meaningful to them, and God’s help in giving them the space to play with their own spiritual insights.
