Got a question on children’s or families ministry to put to our panel of experts? Our experts answer your questions on children’s and families ministry.
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Question #1
A. As parent and toddler groups are the most common, I’m going to focus on setting one of those up. Other groups will have some different requirements.
The room you use will need to be fairly large, to allow for various activities with fast-moving toddlers. The bigger the room, the more families can be welcomed safely. As a guide, allow two square metres for each child and one square metre for each adult, after you put out tables, chairs and large toys. You will need to allow space for a baby area, serving coffee, toys, a gathering area and a craft table. Near your main room you will need a kitchen, space for buggies (unless your room is very big), and easily accessible toilets and nappy-changing facilities.
For snack time you need sippy cups, plastic bowls, carpet or children’s chairs. In the toilets you need a changing mat, potty, plastic step and nappy-disposal (or a sign asking for nappies to be taken home). For admin, you will need registration forms, an attendance register, a first aid kit, accident book and money box and float.
A good selection of appropriate, quality toys is essential. Have available home play, ‘small world’ play (cars, trains, small people), building (MegaBloks, Duplo etc), jigsaws (tray, floor and table – between two and 20 pieces), co-ordination toys (stacking, sorting), baby toys (rattles, feely toys), a baby gym or nest, a few electronic toys and, if you have space, some large toys (ride-on, push-along, tunnel). A small selection of books in your gathering area is appreciated.
A basic craft kit includes chubby crayons, paper and colouring sheets, PVA glue, spreaders and pots, collage materials (paper, card, foam, felt etc) and wet wipes. Finally, a small team of volunteers (DBS checked) to welcome families, serve drinks and snacks, chat, play, do craft, read stories and sing with the children is essential.
Alison Clark is a children’s evangelist, specialising in Under-5s. She is part of Children Worldwide and 1277 (National strategy for Christian toddler groups)
Question #2 What do I do if only one child comes to our group?
A. Unfortunately, unreliable numbers are pretty normal these days. Whenever we hold our children’s groups there will always be something competing with it, added to the fact that family life is very busy these days. I ought to say that you should try not to be discouraged if numbers are low but if you can manage that then you’re a better person than me. The best I can manage is not to show it in front of the
one child who does turn up!
Firstly, you’ve got a decision to make: are you going to run the group, combine it with another age group, or go with a mini group of one child and two leaders (remembering your ratios will still need two leaders)? Assuming you can’t combine groups, you’ll need to think about how you can manage this session in a way that means it’s special for that child rather than the damp squib that it’s threatening to become.
My suggestion would be to throw your session plan out of the window and do something different. Get all of the craft resources out and make something fantastic that loosely fits a Bible story of the child’s choosing, in fact make anything they want and just spend time with them making it and talking together. If they are not a crafty kind of kid grab all the boxes and stuff you can find to make something big or get under the tables and make an imaginary den, even blow up a balloon and play an epic game of singles balloon tennis.
It’s never the dream that we end up with far fewer children than we expected but if that does happen then we have to make the best of it, and for me the best you can do is to use the time to hang out and have fun. That will make the session truly memorable for that child in a way you can’t if you either cancel it or try and go through with the planned session as written. It also means next week’s session is already planned!
Sam Donoghue is the head of children’s and youth ministry support for the Diocese of London, and co-editor of Premier Childrenswork
Question #3 We have a traditional church building with fixed pews. We want to offer all-age services and invite more children and families to church, but we can’t afford to remove the pews. Help!
A. This is a common complaint, and many children’s leaders covet their neighbour’s modern church with its comfy, movable seating. Instead
of feeling frustrated, try looking at a traditional church through children’s eyes. Watch how kids explore the building. Do they race down the aisle? Climb into the pulpit? Shout and make an echo? Hide under the pews? They are responding to being in a special place; it’s as old as a castle, much bigger than home, taller than their nursery classroom and full of great hidey-holes.
You can welcome children by encouraging their spontaneous responses to your building. For example, treasure hunts and games of hide and seek allow kids to play and take possession of the space - what better way to make them feel at home? An Easter egg hunt uses your building’s nooks and crannies, or you could hide chocolate coins or toy lambs when teaching Jesus’ parables of the lost and found. Children can play hide and seek with their parents and reflect on the God who finds us wherever we are in Psalm 139.
Many children want to hide in church: the dark spaces are enticing and also offer an escape from congregational surveillance. I recommend creating a children’s ‘prayer den’. Some churches have a corner for a children’s gazebo or play tent, which is ideal; I have also seen inviting prayer dens created by covering two pews with blankets and placing cushions in the dark tunnel between. In your prayer den, lay out some simple, multi-sensory, non-verbal resources for prayer such as bubbles, wooden holding crosses, glow sticks, battery-operated tea-lights, chenille wires for tactile prayers and natural treasures such as conkers, herbs or catkins.
Here’s a bonus: fixed pews are a blessing in disguise for children (and adults) with Autism. Aileen Pender, an adult with Asperger’s, has described her anxiety at not knowing where to sit in church. She advocates assigning a particular seat in church to anyone with Autism. Your pews have not moved for the last 150 years or more, so a child with Autism will be reassured to know that ‘their’ seat will still be there for them next Sunday.
Claire Benton-Evans is the youth and children’s officer for the Diocese of Edinburgh, and author of many all-age resource books for Kevin Mayhew
