Dani: How did you start coming to church?
Rachel: I was about 7. Somebody who used to look after my great aunt took me to Girls’ Brigade and from that I started to come to church. My family aren’t really Christians so each Sunday morning I used to get up and walk down the road by myself.
D: What kept you coming, if your family didn’t come and you had to get yourself up to come to church?
R: At the time I had quite a hectic home life and church was just really calming for me. It was nice - just like a little family. It got me into stuff that I wouldn’t have got into otherwise and it kept me out of trouble. I just loved everybody there.
D: What age would you say you stopped going to church and why was that?
R: I stopped going to church when I was about 15 or 16. My life got a bit hectic when I had a little boy and I just didn’t feel connected with God whatsoever. I basically rebelled for years and was just like: “I’ve had enough now, I don’t want to deal with this, this is boring on a Sunday. Why am I doing this? I’ve got better things to do.”
To be fair, the youth work was good, but after that there wasn’t really anything to do. If your family went to church, you’d still get involved, but you sort of just got pushed straight out from this cool kind of youth work into this boring adult stuff. It just wasn’t interesting at all.
D: Do you think the youth work could have done anything differently?
R: Getting me involved in the youth work would have been a cool way to kind of keep me active, or keep me coming, but there wasn’t really anything like that. There were no activities either. When you get to a certain age, you’re becoming an adult. But when you’re an adult there are still so many fun and different ways that you can learn to get to know God.
D: So what could the wider church have done differently?
R: I feel a bit like the world and technology have moved on so fast, but I feel like Christianity is stuck in older ways, and maybe that’s why a lot of young people aren’t desperate to go to church. It’s not all that interesting or modern. Christianity still is a bit outdated, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be modern, it can be fun. I feel like somebody in the church could have seen that.
D: How old are you now?
R: 24.
D: And you’ve just started coming back to church. In those years between 16 and 24, what made it hard for you to return?
R: Everybody at church says that they’re not judgmental, but they are. I mean, I know it better than some, I have not been a ‘good girl’! I’ve done some bad things. Once I actually got into it and started talking to people it was easier, but sometimes I found trying to message or even speak to people, it was like they were really uninterested, just kind of wrapped up in their own: “Great, I’ve found Christianity, that’s what it’s about,” rather than thinking: “Maybe she needs a bit of help, why did she stop coming?” Apart from you obviously, I never really got loads of that.
D: You’ve talked about the things that made it hard, but why did you come back?
R: I felt that God really touched my life. I had this really strange dream and it was like an epiphany about why everything had happened. I kept ignoring God for ages and just not embracing it. I’m still not perfect now or anything, God just kind of kept pushing and saying: “Rach, you just need to start listening!” I was having these weird dreams telling me stuff about other people and I couldn’t ignore it anymore. And it’s thanks to you Dani, and the youth work and the kind of person you are. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have started coming back, because you were there just to hold my hand and say: “Rach, it’s alright.” The way that you put it across to me was quite modern and it was welcoming, and you just embraced whatever God was doing with me.
Becca: This interview tells a story about the ‘long game’ of children’s and youth work. Clearly the relationship between Dani and Rachel has been important in terms of Rachel being able to rejoin the church community and Dani’s managed to play that well without the judgement Rachel experienced from others. Rachel speaks of a faith that is deep and real and stronger than the discomfort or difficulties of church. I think Rachel’s story is also a warning to church ministry and highlights the need for children’s and youth work not only to welcome people into the community, but to advocate the needs of a changing culture. It speaks of the tricky role we play in both sticking with children and young people, even when they walk away from church or faith, and sticking to the church, even when it is frustrating, boring, or even unwelcoming.
