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PREPARATION
Think about the environment you’ll use for these sessions. Why not run this session in the lounge of a respected bloke in church? Another idea would be to gather several such blokes to help you with this course. You will need: ‘The Real Me’ handout from links section of the Premier Youthwork website, the trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man, felt-tip pens, marshmallows and spaghetti.
SPAGHETTI TOWER CHALLENGE
10 mins
Split into groups of four or five, and give each group some spaghetti and marshmallows, challenging them to build the biggest possible free-standing tower. By far the best one is the TED version found on the links section of the Premier Youthwork website. If you’ve got some older guys involved put them in teams but make sure they take a back seat. Take your time with this challenge and then ask the following questions:
• What did you like about your tower?
• What was or wasn’t great about working in a team?
• What did you learn about each other?
• Be honest - who thinks they could have done a better job on their own?
THE REAL ME
15 mins
Share the handout from the links section of the Premier Youthwork website. It has several images of largely well-known blokes with certain characteristics. For instance: Wolverine is the tough guy, Albert Einstein is the genius inventor. You’re going to ask three questions and get the group to circle the appropriate picture. Ask:
• How do you currently see yourself?
• How do you think others see you?
• How do you want to be seen?
Get some of your older guys or leaders to share first. Then ask for responses from the others by name. If they don’t want to respond then don’t worry, chances are number one will be really personal for them! Take your time with this, maybe inviting older guys to talk about what they wanted to be when they were teenagers. It’s a great exercise for taking the temperature of the group and understanding where individuals are at.
VIDEO
5 mins
Show the trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man.
KEY POINT
If you think about the images we were looking at, they’re ones that we see all the time. But which of these does society tell us we have to be in order to be a successful bloke? For instance, how much TV focuses on sports stars? How many films feature a scientific genius as the hero? How many video games feature a tough guy as the hero? We’re given so many images of what it means to be a bloke, but which one should we aim at? (Get the older guys to give examples of who they wanted to be when they were teenagers.) Take Spider-Man for example: we love that story because the science nerd becomes the toughest bloke around! We’re given so many ideas, so many images of what it means to be a bloke - but what does God say? Surely if anyone can tell us what it means to be a bloke then it’s God?
WILL THE REAL GODLY GUY PLEASE STAND UP?
20 mins
Split the group into four smaller groups and then hand out one passage to each group (they feature four Biblical men: Samson, David’s mighty men, Jesus and Paul; the passages are Judges 16, 2 Samuel 23:8-39, John 4:1-42 and 1 Corinthians 15:29-34). Ask the following questions:
• Would you follow this person into battle? If so, why?
• Are they someone you look up to?
• What characteristics do they show?
• Can you get an idea of what God expects of men from this passage?
Re-read the longer version of Jesus with the Samaritan woman and then ask:
• The disciples are shocked to find Jesus talking with a woman, why do you think that is?
• Is Jesus the ‘ideal’ man?
• Based on this passage, how would Jesus answer the question: ‘How do I see myself?’
• How would you answer the question: ‘What kind of man does God expect me to be?’
KEY POINT
Before Jesus showed up, the Jews were on the lookout for their next great king or messiah (which means anointed one). They expected their new leader to be a great military leader, a kick-ass warrior who would overthrow the oppressive rule of the empire that now occupied Israel - The Roman Empire. Jesus didn’t live up to this hype, as we can see from the way he talked to the Samaritan woman and led the disciples - he wasn’t going to be what people expected him to be. It’s hard to escape society’s ideas of what it means to be a bloke. We’re told time and time again that if we want to be accepted then we either have to be the sexiest guy in the room, the toughest guy at school or a sporting legend. It’s not easy to escape those expectations, so it’s vital that we have people around us who tell us a different story. Think back to the spaghetti challenge - being a man of God is a team challenge. We’re not supposed to do life alone. In this group, listen out for the man that God wants you to be and make sure you support each other.
LISTEN UP GIRLS
5 mins
We don’t get to do life alone and that will mean that, just like Jesus, we need to have a deep respect for the women in our lives. That means letting them know how you see yourselves and listening to how they see themselves. Ask them to come up with three statements that you’re agreed define how you want to see yourselves as young men beginning ‘we are...’ Tell them that the girls will read these next week, and they’ll get to read what the girls have written! Then write down three ‘why do girls...?’ questions you want to ask the girls. The questions will need to be answered between sessions one and two, so find some way of making that happen.
PRAY
5 mins
Go back to the ‘Real me’ sheets and ask the guys what they want to aspire to be - what do they want to be better at? It could be anything from football, to piano, to chess. Then get them to pray for the person on their right in the group, asking that God will bless their ability.
