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PREPARATION
Read up on the sexualisation of girls and watch Caroline Heldman’s TED talk about female objectification via the links sections of the Premier Youthwork website. You will need: some playdough, a selection of girls and lads’ magazines, a roll of wallpaper and pens.
MAKE IT
10 mins
Give everyone a lump of playdough and ask them to create what they think of when you say a word. First you’re going to say the word ‘breakfast’. This is a warm up for the next word which is ‘sexy’. Get feedback on what they’ve made using these questions:
• Is there a theme running through what most of us ‘created’ when we heard the word ‘sexy’?
• Did people choose to depict male or female sexy? Why do you think this is the case?
• What does ‘sexy’ mean?
• How is being sexual different to being sexy?
• The online porn industry is big business. Even people who have never seen any porn can be negatively affected by the way bodies, relationships and sex are portrayed. Why do you think this is?
SEX OBJECT
15 mins
Draw an outline of a female body on a roll of wall paper and draw a line vertically down the middle. On one side write ‘Porn says women are...’ and on the other write ‘We say women are...’ Pass around pens and ask the group to draw or write things to fill in the gaps. Prep your leaders to get involved too to get the activity started. Discuss what’s been written down.
OWN IT
15 mins
Choose some of these agree / disagree statements and either ask the girls to vote with their feet, show of hands or simply chat through what they think. Each comment is potentially explosive for some girls and they may need some steer from you. (We’ve included some of our thoughts in brackets.)
• I’d rather get bad comments on social media about how I look, than none at all. (Even though people’s interest might feel flattering, cruel or critical comments can damage us and end up making us think we need to change to be who we’re not. God sees and loves us for who we already are.)
• Being sexy is the most important thing about me. (People who believe this quickly find they attract other people who believe this too - and this makes for short relationships and a miserable life!)
• The more ‘likes’ I get, the better I feel about myself. (Being liked for how you look is nice, but it doesn’t last. Liking yourself and knowing how to work on your weaknesses will increase your self-esteem.)
• Only bad girls masturbate. (Exploring your own body privately is a healthy part of many young women’s adolescence. But regularly masturbating, especially while watching porn or sexually explicit material can become addictive and make you more likely to believe the lie that you’re just a sex object and not in control of your desires or choices.)
• I’m never going to look like her / them. (And that’s a good thing! You are your own standard of beauty that cannot be compared or copied.)
WHAT WOULD ESTHER DO?
10 mins
Before you read Esther 4:12-17, set the scene: Esther was a fostered Jewish girl who is made Queen of Persia after winning a beauty contest. Her new husband King Xerxes may have been the wealthiest guy alive and she may have been the most beautiful woman on the planet, but she didn’t let either of those facts define her identity and destiny. When she learned of a plot to kill Jews, she risked her life to tell the king. Because she spoke up, her people were saved from genocide. Read the passage and then discuss these questions:
• How is Esther a good role model for young women in a society that promotes the idea that girls are only gorgeous bodies to be looked at?
• Esther may have had little say over the direction her life took, but she knew she was free to speak out against injustice. What might be some of the injustices you see in the way girls are treated in your school, society and world, that you want to speak out against?
• Read Proverbs 4:23 and 1 Corinthians 6:19. How might Esther have responded to these verses?
• How do you feel these verses can help you live free and from the inside-out?
• What decisions might you need to make to help you kick back at the lie that you’re a sex object? What might help you to stop consuming damaging materials, stop comparing yourself to other girls and stop seeking attention for your body?
KEY POINT
Living in a society that makes more fuss about the outside (face, body, image) means that we can forget that God created us to be beautiful and powerful women from the inside-out. At a time when you’re growing into your unique beauty, advertisers want you hooked on their version of you. We know that obsessing over how we look and seeking attention for our bodies is damaging but sometimes we struggle to admit we’re doing it and may even refuse to do what it takes to rid ourselves of it. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be attractive, the question is how much of yourself you will hand over to achieve it.
