There is no good parenting without Good Friday

We spend a lot of time on NexGen providing helpful, biblical, practical articles for Christian parents on all manner of subjects: films, social media, additional needs, disability, schools, awkward questions, reviews of Christian resources and much more. But the most important element in Christian parenting is you. That sounds obvious, after all the clue is in the word! But sometimes we might forget the centrality of that truth.  Your parenting starts with you. Not the skills, not the tips, not the information – you. 

Good Friday is an appropriate day for putting aside the normal NexGen content and focusing on the heart of the matter: our hearts. I want to draw out two simple, but profound truths implied by Good Friday that must be foundational to who we are if we are to parent well – there is no good parenting without Good Friday.

God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8)

You’ve never been more loved 

The cross of Jesus Christ demonstrates that God loves you more than anyone else ever can or will. Before he died Jesus said that “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) In fact not only for his friends but “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” (Romans 5:8) 

You are loved more than you know, more than you can ever be loved by another. God’s love does not run out, it does not grow old, it does not fade, or go stale, or become routine. God’s love continues to sustain you and forgive you day by day, mistake after mistake. Whenever you turn around God is there with his arms open wide. 

We need to know and meditate on this truth deeply and as we do so the promise is that we will, through a work of the Holy Spirit, become more like Jesus (2 Corinthians 3:18). If you try to love your children in your own strength it will run out. Instead love your children out of the love that God has for you, seen in the cross of Jesus Christ – a never ending. never running out love.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:15)

You’ve never been more understood 

When people don’t get us, it can be frustrating. When our spouse doesn’t listen, when our friends mis-interpret our actions or words, we feel like no one understands us – it feels like no one actually knows us, not truly. 

Along with God’s creation of the universe, the birth, life and death of Jesus shows you that God understands you. People love to talk about the importance of lived experience these days – well through the birth, life and death of Jesus, God is not a distant god who rules but does not know. God knows, he understands (Hebrews 4:15). 

In fact, God knows you better than you know yourself. It’s a bit like when someone buys you a gift that totally hits the mark or when someone articulates something in words that you were searching for but could not find, except more so. Psalm 139:13 says that God created your inmost being and knit you together in your mother’s womb. He totally gets you and knows what you need in an ultimate sense, he knows that you need saving even when we forget. Good Friday shows that you’ve never been more understood. 

Again, through the work of the Holy Spirit we can pray and expect that we can become more like Jesus and so understand those around us, including our spouse and children. They want to be understood in the same way that we do, but it starts with us, it starts with you. To understand others, you need to first be understood at the depth that only God can understand. 

So, this Good Friday, today… 

Stop, reflect and meditate on the cross of Christ. Remember that you have never been more loved and you have never been more understood – let this be the fuel for your life, faith and parenting.