Gifts not grades: Recognising every young person’s God-given talents

The summer term in schools means different things to different ages of children and young people. For some it is the term of sports day, end of year shows, outdoor PE lessons and being allowed to play on the school field. For our older ones this term brings very different events ahead; this is the term of exams, and all that they bring with them.  

Many of our teenagers will have some sort of ‘school exam week’ this term, but for some those exams are a national event – SATs, GCSEs and A-Levels. Thankfully these days many schools keep SATs lower key than they used to be, although children still practice for them in school and might have concerns about them. GCSEs, A-Levels and other vocational courses that end in the summer term, however, bring with them significantly more pressure.

Regardless of which numbers or letters young people receive at the end the most important thing for them to have their hope in is their relationship with the Lord

As parents it can be very easy to find ourselves carried along with the messages from school regarding revision schedules, exam preparation, expectations and so forth, and of course we want to encourage our young people to do the best that they can, but we also can remind them to look at what they are doing through a biblical lens. 

Why work towards exams? 

Colossians 3:23 gives us some encouragement that we can share with our young people: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” Regardless of the information they may be receiving from school or their peers, the message from Scripture is clear; the work all of us do – whether that be at home, in a workplace, or for our young people, revising and preparing for exams – we do to the best of our ability, as Christ did his best for us. This is especially helpful for those who have possibly ‘coasted’ through school thus far, or those who are especially relaxed and do not see the need to revise. 

Students may need reminding that they have been gifted abilities and talents by the God who created them and knows them intimately. When they recognise a particular talent, we can encourage them to cultivate it and use it the best that they can in order to serve God, and potentially to enable them to better serve others in the future too.  

The importance of recognising different gifts? 

Some teens are gifted in the more academic subjects; some thrive in the world of traditional exams. For them the pressure from schoolteachers (either explicit or implied) will keep them working towards the goal of whatever grades they are hoping for. If you have an individual like this in your family, it may be that they need more reminders to take breaks than reminders to revise! 

Others will find that their gifts are more practical, and for them the exam season comes with other pressures. The obvious comparison with others, the potential for disappointment, the feelings of failure – often before they have even started the exams. For these, as for all young people, Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 12:4-6 are some words that can be ones that remind them that exams are a measure of only one type of gifting. “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone.”  

Regardless of which numbers or letters young people receive at the end the most important thing for them to have their hope in is their relationship with the Lord. Knowing that they have gifts for different things and being encouraged that all these different talents are valuable, can be life changing. Maybe your young person is showing a love of hosting parties for their friends, encourage them to see how that gift of hospitality is vital in loving communities. Perhaps they are always building up their friends – the gift of encouragement goes a long way when others are feeling down. Maybe they are one of the more studious types… the gift of knowledge or administration might be theirs. Whatever their gifts, we get to support them as they learn how to use their gifts for the good of others, and for the joy of God’s kingdom.

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I hope your family enjoys success on GCSE results day, but don’t define ‘success’ too narrowly

How can parents and carers help? 

You know your young person better than anyone else and so pick the ideas that you know will work best for you and your home, but here are some practical ideas for helping the revision/exam season pass well.

• Help your child to create a revision timetable – maybe they have subjects they know need to be more of a focus. Timetable more time on these ones but intersperse with subjects they enjoy more. 20 or 40 minute blocks are best, with a 5 or 10 minute deliberate break before the next block. The breaks should involve getting up, moving around, having a drink, grabbing a snack.
• Let them have a whole day each week when they don’t do any schoolwork – the Sabbath principle - and include it on the timetable. Seeing that clear day may do wonders for them, knowing that they are not expected to be a machine.
• Let them create a playlist – many people find they can concentrate on study better when they have very familiar music playing. Nothing new, you want them to choose background music that they can sort of ignore.
• Use colourful notes – I still (many years on) associate the colours orange and green with a particular module of Chemistry revision. Different subjects in different colours may help them to bring things to mind when they are in an exam ‘I remember it was green…’ The more ‘threads’ they can pull on in their mind when they are trying to remember a particular fact, the better.
• Use visible reminders that you know they are more than a grade – maybe some Bible verses written out on Post-it notes for them to find e.g., Psalm 139:13-14, Romans 8:38-39; or simple ‘I love you’ notes on their workspace for them to find before they sit down to start work.
• Treats and rewards – who doesn’t enjoy a bit of ‘positive incentivisation’?! 

Most of all

• Make yourself available to listen – maybe in the car on the way somewhere, often last thing at night when you are tired, but let your young person know that you are there for them.
• Pray for them, and with them, reminding them they are, first and foremost, a child of the king; loved by God and loved by you.