So often the spotlight is given to stories of success. Stories of youth groups growing from eight to 80 in three weeks using nothing but a table tennis ball, a church hall and a copy of Mission Praise. Stories that are great but can also leave some of us out in the cold. Because, sometimes, there’s a flip side: we all know that youth ministry can be the most amazing vocation in the world, but it can be tough, it can go wrong, and it can be a real struggle. And yet there’s as much truth and as many lessons in these stories as in the success stories, so we want to open it up and learn from some of them. Welcome to Real Life. This month: Nick Francis.
For just over six years I was youth minister for a multi-denominational church. This was my first full-time post as a fresh faced CYMgraduate, and I went in optimistic, enthusiastic, and with a healthy dose of nerves.
Six years later I left as a broken, run-down, tired youth worker, having been made redundant from my post.
For the first few years my job seemed to be going well. Young people, parents and the church all seemed happy. There was the odd blip now and again but I was largely left to my own devices and could quite happily get on with what I wanted to.
Roughly four years into the job my minister left. After a heart attack and a sabbatical he could clearly see that the church was not the right place for him any more, and so he moved on. The church remained in interregnum for over two years meaning I was left without any significant leadership support. Instead I was meeting with elders who rapidly wanted to change models of leadership so that youth and children’s work went in a practical, not spiritual, direction, something more akin to child-minding.
It was at this point that cracks in relationships between myself and the eldership began to show. This was furthered by what became a very obvious difference in vision for youth work. The elders’ was for numbers on Sundays and bums on seats, mine was for increased schools work, small groups and weekday- based work. (That’s not to say I don’t see church services as important, but as part of a bigger picture for youth ministry.) It was obvious that our visions were not aligned. We also went through some significant changes in our Sunday service structures and styles. These were changes which I supported and encouraged, but was not aware of the impact they were to have. We moved from three services a week (family, traditional and informal) to one. This meant that we lost a lot of our informal, ‘youth-friendly’ opportunities, and our times of worship became more focused on the older generations. ‘New’ worship was either not seen as accessible or was given too low a priority. Feedback given by young people was not acted upon.
Throughout this time there were significant personality clashes between myself and elders, and due to the lack of minister there were no support processes or resolutions. For myself, and the other staff, it quickly became a them and us situation. It’s amazing how the loss of a minister can throw a church into chaos so quickly.
Things continued in this way for a year or so, until one September it was announced that my position was no longer financially viable and I was being made redundant. I had three months redundancy notice to serve and finished working on Christmas Eve – the end of a painful process. I’m now a youth worker for an Anglican church. I have been here just over a year and God has been very good. So what have I learned?
Check job descriptions
This is something that became a constant source of problems. There was a clear difference between what people thought the youth work was before I started, and what it actually was. When you apply for a job, or start one, do some digging and be sure to clarify any inconsistencies early on.
Be managed
Churches don’t always manage people well. We know that. When I started my job I thought it was fantastic that no one interfered in my day-to-day work. I had full authority, no real checks or balances, and a very informal annual appraisal. Eventually this came to bite me. I now work in a church where I have weekly management meetings with my vicar, weekly leadership meetings, an appraisal system, and far more oversight of budgets.
Align visions
The youth ministry should not stand alone. It should ref lect and help to develop the wider church’s vision. If your vision and the vision of the church are not aligned, do what you can to make them so. This doesn’t mean ditching all your values but may mean compromise. It’s better to have difficult conversations now, and make sure everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet, than build up frustrations and harbour resentment.
Leave well
Even if things do go catastrophically wrong, as tempting as it might be, don’t burn the church on your way out. It’s not always easy to see but God is still working in that place. Also, if you seek future employment they will ask for references and how you leave will be ref lected in those references. Anger will be expected, but leave with dignity and grace. How you leave will also affect the young people. Do you want them to become bitter and angry towards the church, or do you want them to grow in their faith? Don’t undo all the hard work you have done by throwing your toys out of the pram.
