Reflection
Often we pay too much attention to the chaos around us rather than the peace inside us. Some preachers talk about Peter getting out of the boat (Matt 14:22-33) – how in order to be successful in tricky times we need to focus our eyes on Jesus, not on the ‘waves’. John 16:33 is a helpful verse for young people in these tumultuous times: ‘I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’
There’s a great quote from Martin Lloyd- Jones: ‘Have you realised that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?’ Share this quote with your mentee. It’s a great insight into how we let our emotions dictate to us whether we succeed or fail, instead of ensuring that good sense, facts and faith inform what we do.
One of the defining traits of adolescence is the overwhelming emotions caused by raised hormone levels. Are you mindful of this when your young people cause you headaches? Are your young mentees aware of this? Have you discussed the physical and physiological reasons why their teenage years might be so turbulent?
Activity
Discuss the extent to which they make decisions based on their ‘head’ and their ‘heart.’ Ask whether some of their challenges might be because they are listening to their tumultuous feelings rather than talking sense to themselves? Draw a line on a piece of paper – label one end ‘head’, the other ‘heart’. Place a coin on the line and ask your mentee to move the coin to where on the line where they lie. Discuss:
- Where on the line indicates the balance between thoughts and feelings when making big life decisions, such as GCSE or A Level choices?
- What kind of big decisions are you facing?
- What about when things go wrong?
- Ask if something has upset them recently. How did you deal with it? Did you ‘listen to yourself’ or ‘talk to yourself’?
- Where do you feel you lie between victorious and struggling? Why? What are your obstacles and opponents? What helps you stand up and fight? What makes you give up and feel sorry for yourself?
- What can you tell yourself when you start to struggle that will help you think ‘victoriously?’ What can you do to build / reinforce a winning mentality into your general outlook?
Joel Toombs has an MA in Christian mentoring and wrote the Grove booklet Mentoring and young people. He is a mentor in the music industry and a youth worker.
