I started youth work at the age of 18 in church. Until recently, I worked for county youth service in Surrey and Sussex for 30 years, before taking voluntary redundancy, and have also been a church youth worker in both Woking and Horsham for over 30 years.
It is true that there are now more and more young, gifted, highly qualified youth workers around. The comments about my age have increased, thankfully mostly in jest, but sometimes in a very awkward attempt at being tactful. The truth is that it has made me more conscious of the fact I am getting older and made me ask some questions: am I too old? Have I still got a place in youth work? Should I be stepping back and giving way to the younger leaders?
I recently asked a number of friends, colleagues, youth workers, young people, parents and clergy whether they thought I was too old to be a youth worker. I was mostly relieved by the replies:
Yes. I’m so glad you asked. I’ve been wanting to tell you for ages Granny Cox . (Clergy)
The coolest youth worker I ever saw was in their mid-seventies! You’ve got decades left in you! (Young person)
I don’t think you will ever be too old for youth work; you’re a big kid yourself. (Leader)
It seems that the qualities of a youth worker that are more important than age are: relationships with God and the kids, strong faith, passion, heart, vision, enthusiasm, energy, consistency, support, fun, experience of both life and of youth work, wisdom, understanding of youth culture, love, respect and patience.
SHAPE
To use the SHAPE model from CPAS’ Growing young leaders’ course material: youth work just fits my SHAPE. My Strengths, my Heart for church, community and young people, my Abilities, my Personality and my Experience all still point to me being a youth worker. I get older but my shape stays the same.
In my experience, my age has only grown me as a youth worker. You live and learn. I am learning all the time with the careful nurture of others even older than me. I think the biggest advantage of an older youth leader is experience.
Experience
Over the years I have worked in different settings: churches, ecumenically, community, schools and multi-agency youth work. As a youth worker, I started by being in the slipstream of other more experienced workers, but as they moved away, I stepped up, trusting the Lord.
It’s also about life experience: believe it or not, I am not too old to remember what it was like to be a young person: to be a young youth leader starting off, and being very close in age to those I was leading. I have also grown by being a parent of younger, and now grown-up children. It means you can relate to all ages and understand situations more fully.
Surprising youth workers
I have found that some of the most beneficial work I have been a part of has been multi-agency youth work, and working in teams of workers and volunteers of all ages. In fact, what has often struck me is that some of the best youth workers have not only sometimes been surprising ages, but also the most unlikely characters. But they just ‘get the kids’ and ‘the kids get them’. They give their time, show respect, are committed, and are authentic. The key is not to try and be someone you aren’t or be like the young people. You can stay in touch with their world, but be honest and real about who you are. A youth worker has a very unique position of not being a parent or teacher, but someone who can still become a parent / grandparent figure in their life, someone who has an unbiased outside perspective. It’s a privilege and responsibility, and a very valuable role. Even last term I inherited a new mentee, whose previous very cool young mentor had moved away. I wondered how she would react to me, but it has been one of the most effective mentoring relationships I have ever had. The rapport was there. Her mother is not always present in her life, and so my age, the way she sees me, perhaps as a mother figure, is exactly what is needed, at the moment.
A youth worker for life
Truthfully, I have recently knocked on other doors. I have concentrated on raising up and investing in younger leaders. However, I don’t think I will ever lose my heart to encourage, disciple and support young people to become the people God made them to be.
This text message I received sums me up: ‘Some people are never too old to be a youth worker. I suspect you are one of them’, but I also agree with this one: ‘We should perpetually be humbly saying God where do you want me? Do you want me to lay things down? And remembering that we don’t get our identity from our role. We are primarily a child of God.’
I would love to continue in youth work, but also to try and use some of my experience to get others in, and share what I have learnt. To ensure that the Lord can continue to use others in the way he has managed to use even me.
At the moment I have the energy, enthusiasm and passion to carry on. My prayer is this: ‘Even when I am old and grey, O God, do not forsake me. Until I declare your strength to this generation.’ (Psalm 71:18)
Judy Cox is the team parish youth worker for Horsham, West Sussex.
