Taking time away from the busyness of ministry often surprisingly difficult, and some of us aren’t fans of silence and empty space. Yet Jenny Baker is convinced that retreats aren’t just a good idea – they’re essential, not only for our spiritual health as individuals, but also for the health of our youth work teams.
I set off for my first retreat several years ago armed with three books to read, a long list of things to think about, a journal to write profound thoughts in and my bike in the back of the car in case I got bored. It was a three-day silent retreat at Burford Priory in the Cotswolds, where I joined in the daily rhythm of services and meals alongside the monks and nuns. Feeling mildly self-righteous for carving out space in a hectic diary for some ‘quality time’ with God, I was determined that this retreat was not going to be a waste of time. I wanted to come away feeling like I had achieved something.
In fact, I struggled to pray, got distracted when I tried to read, found the services hard to connect with and slept more than I had done in years. It was only when I was stomping round the labyrinth in the garden in frustration that God wasn’t doing anything that I suddenly sensed God’s presence, allowed myself to sink into the stillness of simply being, and let go of all I was trying to do. And then it was time to go back home! But I did return feeling that I’d experienced something profound even if I couldn’t quite put it into words, and I was left hungry for more of God.
Escaping the busyness
Looking back I can see how driven I was, but I suspect I’m not alone in finding that transition difficult, from the frenetic pace of everyday life to the stillness of time away on retreat. Abbot Christopher Jamison from Worth Abbey writes in his book Sanctuary about the feelings of excessive busyness that most of us carry. He traces the rise of our market-driven consumer culture and its influence on the pace of our lives, and observes the irony of how one solution we are offered is to treat ourselves with an expensive holiday. ‘All the hard work needed to be a consumer now needs an extra consumer product to take away the pain of that work,’ he says. But his question to those who come to his monastery on retreat is illuminating: ‘why have you allowed yourself to get into this state?’ Like it or not, we do choose to fill our lives with all that occupies us, and we can also choose to carve out time to reconnect with God – not on pricey holidays but in a sacred space set aside for that purpose.
Jesus sent his disciples out in pairs to put into practice what they had seen him doing – calling people to repentance, driving out demons and healing the sick (Mark 6:7-13). When they returned full of stories, there was a lot going on, with so many people coming and going that they didn’t even have enough time to eat (6:31). Jesus recognised their need to reflect on what they had done, to rest, to spend time with him and he gave them this invitation: ‘Come with me, by yourselves, to a quiet place, and get some rest.’ The key ingredients of a retreat are neatly summed up in that sentence – time with Jesus, away from the normal routine, in a place of peace, with opportunity to be restored. On that occasion, the journey itself had to suffice because when they landed tons of people had got there ahead of them, but when I read that story I always long to respond to that same invitation and need to remind myself that Jesus still offers it to me today.
Precious time
Many church leaders have times of retreat built into their year; Anglican priests for example are expected to go on retreat regularly, with colleagues or on their own. More often than not, though, youth workers seem to struggle to carve out time to be still when there feels so much pressure to deliver, and when the needs of young people are so relentless. It can almost feel selfish or self-indulgent to get away from it all, particularly if you’ve also got the responsibility of a family or others to care for.
Those who do make time for regular retreats, however, are enthusiastic advocates for time away with God. Sally Nash, who heads up Midlands Centre for Youth Ministry, has made a regular habit of going on retreats herself, and also leads an annual retreat for youth workers on Holy Island. ‘It’s important to make space for a retreat,’ she says, ‘because busyness squeezes out the opportunity to spend more prolonged time when we can listen to God, stop, take stock, revisit old dreams and visions and begin to explore new ones. It gives the opportunity for God to speak to us outside a work context and often for us to hear from God in different ways depending on where we are staying – though nature, through icons, through others who are offering guidance on the retreat.’
Team huddle
Increasingly, teams of youth workers seem to be going away on retreat together, seeking God for themselves and for the work they are involved in. LCET go on retreat six times a year, sometimes for a two-night stay and sometimes for just a day and into the evening. The whole team descends on Turvey Abbey, a Benedictine monastery close to where they are based, staying in the guest houses run by the nuns and inviting speakers in with a focus on developing their faith. Ruth Bennett, their deputy chief executive, explains the appeal, ‘Retreats help us to grow in community as a team. We are so busy in our daily lives that we rarely get a chance to catch up with each other properly. We have a weekly chapel time and team meeting, but our time away gives us concentrated space to relax, reflect and enjoy social time together. Somehow our team feels more like a family community than a bunch of work colleagues. I think retreat has a huge part to play in that.’
Team leaders who organise retreats will be doing youth workers a huge favour by modelling a more balanced life and introducing them to a practice that could have huge benefits for years to come. Mark Yaconelli, whose books on contemplative spirituality have had such an impact on youth work in recent years, writes about the importance of youth ministry being grounded in relationships with other Christians. ‘It takes a greenhouse to nurture the souls of young people,’ he writes, ‘a greenhouse formed by adults who want to know God.’
While those team relationships grow through working alongside each other, something far more profound happens when we take time to pray together, to be vulnerable with each other, to listen to God for each other, and to talk about the ideas and insights that often get squeezed out of busy agendas. Time away from work may feel ‘wasted’ or too precious to give up, when the reality is that if we’re rested and restored, if we’ve made time to meet with God together, we’ll be far more effective youth workers when we get back to the pressures of everyday life.
Jenny Baker is a writer, trainer and co-founder of the Sophia Network for women in youth ministry.
