Right there I have a problem, because as a creative person I find repetition can be a struggle as I’m always wanting to invent new things and find new ways of doing things. (This makes house work very tricky for me – if there was a book deal to be found in 52 new ways to do house work, I’d be all over it!)
But we all have rituals, such as our favourite cup for coffee or seat at the table. In our family, we love rituals – birthdays, Christmas, Easter, baptism anniversaries, Passover and our weekly Shabbat meal – and I’ve found that they help us to go deeper with God. If we want to use rituals to help us grow in our faith together, I think we can do two things:
- Look for ways to bring our faith into the rituals we already have.
- Develop new rituals which help us connect with God and grow in faith.
Whether you’re looking for ways of bringing your faith into rituals you already have or adopting something new, here are some ideas on developing faith-building rituals.
Have physical elements to symbolise spiritual realities
Symbolism can be a powerful tool in your family rituals. In our Shabbat meal we light candles to represent Jesus the light of the world, and waft them to represent spreading his light into our lives and the lives of those around us.
I know theoretically symbolism is an abstract concept which children won’t start really understanding until they are about seven years old. But what I’ve found is that the physical symbols used in rituals often seem to bypass the need for understanding and are very accessible to children whose lives are full of wonder and mystery.
Each year, on our wedding anniversary, I try to remember to get out the candle we were given during our wedding service. When we light it, we remember the moment we each took our single candles and used them to light our marriage candle, a powerful image of unity and togetherness.
Using candles would be something easy to build into a birthday celebration. When the birthday candles are lit, it could be a moment for the recipient to welcome God into this new year of their life. Alternatively, you might like to blow bubbles as the person blows out their candles, and pray blessings for the person, imagining each bubble which lands on them is a blessing. Take a moment to think about where there might be a space in your family birthdays for a spiritual moment, then chat through ideas with your family.
Use Bible verses to capture things you want to say
When we light our candles for Shabbat we use Bible verses. This example is based on John 8:12:
“As I light these candles, I welcome Jesus, light of the world. Thank you that whoever follows you will never walk in darkness but have the light of life.”
How about reading the whole Christmas Bible story as part of your Advent preparations? Read about Elizabeth and Zachariah, about Simeon and Anna, about the escape to Egypt and how Jesus grew in favour with God and with man. Read the whole Easter story from a Gospel during Lent. Read the story of Jesus’ baptism when celebrating baptism anniversaries. We always do this with a doll to baptise, a candle to light and other ‘props’ to help us engage with our baptism again. It’s a great way to embed a piece of Bible into our lives.
Another way we use the Bible is to bless each other. We sing The Message version of the blessing in Numbers 6:24– 26 to each other.
Invite everyone to join you but make it optional
We’ve adapted our Shabbat readings as we’ve had different people to join us, including those who would not call themselves Christians, and young children. For these people, we’ve made the invitation to, wash hands for example, very much optional and made the language inclusive.
To make things easier for younger children, we’ve added songs into our Shabbat meal, and pictures into our Passover sheets so that the children can participate and follow where we are even before they can read.
Think about the people who will be present and see if you can find a way to make what you’re doing easy for them to join in if they choose to.
Keep it simple
We eat roast chicken every Friday for Shabbat. People often say how amazing it is that I cook roast chicken on a Friday, but I’ve done it every Friday for nine years – that’s 468 roast chicken dinners(!) – so I find it really easy to do. We eat this meal because we all like it and it’s easy to cook. It also works well when we have guests.
Speaking of guests, we find that inviting people into a ritual we do at home is somehow much more accessible for them than coming to something at church. It’s much more personal, and rituals which include food are always good aren’t they? However, the intimacy means that people are much closer to the action and the spiritual element of the ritual in a way they could more easily avoid at church. It allows them to take part on their own level and to be part of something bigger than they might ordinarily do. We find the conversations which take place during and after the meal are often quite profound.
Keep it the same
I would recommend starting with something easy, accessible, short and simple like lighting a candle and welcoming the light of Jesus into your home. Then repeat it. Again and again. Do it every night, every Friday night, every Saturday morning. Whenever generally works for your family. It’s the repetition which makes space for something else to happen, for connection with God.
Repetition with variation
Enjoy taking it with you when you are somewhere else: on holiday, at friends’ houses, at a restaurant – we’ve shared bread and wine on a plane when we weren’t even sitting next to each other – when you’re familiar enough with a ritual, you only need to be given the physical elements to enter in and connect with the meaning and purpose they represent. If you have new people coming to share your ritual, for example, grandparents or godparents present at a birthday, maybe do it the same as you always do or use the new participants as a prompt to mix it up a little, and try doing it a little differently. One of the fabulous things about a ritual is how recognisable it is when you change elements but leave the core the same. If you’d like to look more at celebrations, you’ll love Michele Guiness’ book, The heavenly party. You’ll also find resources to try out Shabbat and Passover rituals at GodVenture.co.uk.
For a fuller unpacking of Victoria’s weekly Shabbat meal, check out last month's issue.
